So I'm happy to report that I've spent much of the last three days tearing through 462 pages worth of The Princess Bride including two introductions, the story itself, a chapter of the sequel, Buttercup's Baby, which I now want to read all of, and a special interview with the characters of the book made up by William Goldman, who wrote the screenplay for the movie as well as doing the abridging of the actual S. Morgenstern book.  I have made many new discoveries to the story, such as the fact that there is no "Pit of Despair," but there is an island town called Despair.  The place where Westley is subjected to torture (not just the machine, for the machine was just the last of the tortures) was called the zoo of death, in which Westley was the sole occupant of the fifth level.  Let's see....I also learned that there are no shrieking eels, the actual creatures in the water are sharks, and that Westley was in fact, triple teamed by R.O.U.S's, not assaulted by one.  If you want to know any more tidbits, you'll have to read it yourself though; may I suggest William Goldman's "The Good Parts" abridgement up that removes some random and useless parts of the story such as Morgernstern's lecture on Florinian Dendrology.  PS...is Florin a real place or is it imaginary?  DON'T RESEARCH IT ON THE INTERNET IF YOU EVER INTEND TO READ THE BOOK....until after you've read it, that is.  OK, that's enough of my dissertation on the greatest movie ever which comes from one of the best books ever...the end....no really.....stop reading this....

I told you to stop........if you're still reading this, you have no life.....yeah, I know you have to keep reading this because you want to know if I'm going to say something funny...I find it funny that I have wasted your time in making you read this all to hear me say something funny.....OK....here's something funny-"BYUCK"  it's a word I learned in the chapter of Buttercup's Baby and Fezzik explains that it's the Turkish word for nasty stuff...in this case, everything that comes out of a pregnant woman that is neither baby nor blood.....it's your fault for reading that.....hahahaha....byuck=gross stuff.

PS...I've just sucked one year of your life away...some day I might go as high as five, but I don't really know what that would do to you, so let's just start with what we have, shall we?  How do you feel?  Remember, this is for posterity, so try to be honest."